Soooo...I apologize to Renee. She didn't cut that guys whole hand off. Just his thumb so she could take his lo-jack off. Mea Culpa, Renee. Please don't cut my thumb off for my horrible mistake. I like having thumbs.
Anyway, let's get to the rest of the show. Chaos has broken out in Iran in what appears to be seconds. News travels fast in the internet age. Actually, Farhad (the Iranian president's little evil bro) has people on his side working for the government back home and they are staging a mini-coup (which is different than a mini-cooper, btw) and Omar (the Iranian pres is forced to decide if he wants to declare Marshall Law back home). Madame President is none too excited to hear that, since they are in the middle of peace talks and all. Nothing says peace talks like declaring Marshall Law on the fine people of your home country. Especially when you refer to it as "purging enemies." Don't use the word "purge" when describing the killing of your countryman, Omar. It sounds vaguely Nazi-esque! Needless to say- peace talks get put on hold by the end of the hour. Meanwhile, Farhad gets to wait out the delivery of his Uranium with two Russian whore. He got two because he couldn't decide which one he liked better. See - indecision has its benefits!
In our seemingly unrelated side story - we found out tonight that Dana is an ex-con who was jailed along with the classy Kevin for manslaughter. But Dana got out first (she says because she was a minor when it happened) and Kevin thinks it is because she ratted him out to get early parole. He blackmails her into coming home where she finds him with Nick, his equally classy friend. They want her to use CTU computers to get info on something. She says no, he says do it. I bet she does. Please give Katee something better to do, 24 producers!!
Back to Jack. He calls Renee unstable in one of my favorite moments of the episode. There are certain things you should never call a woman to her face, Jack, and "unstable" is one of them. Even if it's TOTALLY true! Besides, this unstable girl was right - Zia the one-thumbed Russian agrees to take Renee to his leader, Vladimir. By the way... Vladimir?? Really?? Could they come up with a MORE cliche name for a evil Russian guy? Obvious, much? Apparently Renee and Vlad have a past - cue Jack getting Chloe to get on looking that up. We find out Vlad was super violent with Renee and obsessed with her. Jack realizes Renee is probably doing this to put herself in danger. "Dammit Renee". (I need to start keeping track of how many times Jack says Dammit) Renee has Jack feed her info to prove her "evilness" to Vlad, but of course Chloe didn't provide one vital piece of info so she came this close to blowing it. Didn't matter anyway, because at the end of his interrogation he throws Zia and Renee in an armored truck which means Jack can't talk to Renee. Of course.
While all this is going on, Sark from Alias or in this case, non-radiation-poisoned-brother gets Papa to let him take his brother to their nice country house to die. Instead he finds his nice Jewish doctor friend and threatens him and his nice Jewish family if he doesn't cure radiation poisoned brother. Way to keep it under control buddy.
Anyway, back to Jack and his crazy girlfriend. Turns out the car Jack was following was a decoy car. But, by the time he realizes it, Vlad has taken them to the riverfront and Jack is too far away. Vlad shoots Zia in the head at which point Jack sits helplessly in his car and listens to Renee beg Vlad to shoot her and end her miserable exisitence. Sucks for Jack. Of course this proves to Vlad that Renee is actually crazy and therefore evil, so he lets her up so they can do whatever evil he has planned. Whew. That was close? (Question mark on purpose)
The episode went really fast after the last two being in two hour blocks. Next weeks looks difficult to watch.
In the words of John Mayer, "If I were on 24, I'd make sure to be in the bathroom during the last 5 minutes of every hour. Good things do NOT happen then!"
Words to live (or die) by!
Psych tonight, kiddos. Hopefully have the blog up tomorrow!